Reality Therapy Basic Practicum

Today was another great day working with a new group of people on the concepts of Reality Therapy, Choice Theory and Lead Management. I had the pleasure of working with nine people who have all had a Basic Week of training and now they are on their second step in the Reality Therapy process, the Basic Practicum.

For many in this group, it had been years since they took their Basic Week so we did a lot of review, talked about the language of Choice Theory and did some case consultation in the areas of counseling and management. It was a terrific day.

When you use the language of Choice Theory there are certain things you will no longer say. You won’t say, “She made me so angry.” “He left me, causing my deep depression.” “I didn’t have any choice.” “I didn’t have time.” All of these and many others are replaced with proactive language that puts you in the driver’s seat!

Are you doing work you love, with people you enjoy, that makes a difference?

Reality Therapy Advanced Practicum

Today I worked with two individuals who are preparing for their certification week in Reality Therapy. They both work in a drug and alcohol residential facility.

We spent a lot of time talking about the application of lead management and the Three Conditions of Quality. It seems it is much easier to use Reality Therapy with clients but it’s much harder to employ the concepts with staff.

In a company or facility serving clients, it is equally important for staff and clients to get their needs met. Supervisors and administrators can’t focus exclusively on the clients without paying attention to the needs of the people working with them.

We also did some case consultation that was quite helpful. It was a great day.

Being in the Moment

Today I had lots of practice living in the moment. I traveled from Chicago to Pittsburgh and there were many interesting twists and turns, all providing me with opportunities to practice what I teach about learning to go with things that happen without resistance.

I wanted to see my boyfriend today before leaving town but I had too much preparation to do for my trip and ran out of time. This was the first opportunity. I could have felt cheated about this or frustrated but I didn’t. I simply realized there wasn’t enough time and that was neither positive or negative. It simply was the reality of the situation. I couldn’t change it, so I didn’t fight it or regret it.

Second opportunity came when I learned my already late flight was delayed. I could have lamented the fact that I would not be getting a very good night’s sleep the night before I had to work but I simply relaxed while waiting and read a very enjoyable book to pass the time.

The flight was uneventful when we finally did get in the air. Then I got my luggage from the turnstile and realized something wasn’t quite right with my new Samsonite four-wheel garment bag. It didn’t take long to figure out the problem was it was now a three-wheel garment bag that couldn’t sit even or be wheeled very effectively anymore. I could easily have gotten frustrated by this but I improvised an interesting roller arrangement and am hopeful Samsonite will honor its 10-year guarantee when I get back to Chicago.

I got in my car rental and was a little surprised to get a Dodge Patriot (SUV) instead of the economy car I ordered. I momentarily thought about the extra gas I would be paying for but was thankful for the bigger vehicle. As it turned out, I went through some serious snow squalls through the mountains on my way to the hotel and needed the 4-wheel drive feature. It took me three hours to get to the hotel, finally arriving at 1:30 AM.

This trip could have been aggravating for me in the past, but I was pleasantly surprised at how easy I felt about things. I am continuing to collect evidence that it really isn’t what happens to you that’s important; it’s how you respond to the things that happen.

Coaching

Today I had two great sessions with coaching clients. A lawyer struggling with relationship sabotage is recognizing and interrupting her destructive thinking. She has been successful at supporting herself and thereby not doing anything to outwardly sabotage her new, positive relationship. She is doing great!

Another session today happened with the man who is running an international school. He sent me a video of a staff meeting he had with teachers, discussing choice theory and student motivation. He did an excellent job explaining choice theory and fielded some difficult questions very well.

I love coaching motivated people. After being in social service for over 20 years, it is such a joy to work with people who actually want help. I loved what I did with social service, but often it was about trying to help people realize the value of taking advantage of the services offered.

Coaching is different. People come who already know coaching will help them. There is nothing I have to convince them of. When I give an assignment, they willingly complete it. The payoff is I get to watch them make significant progress is a very short time.

I am opening the Choice Coaching School this year. If you are interested in becoming a coach, check it out at http://www.choicecoaching.biz.

Another Surprise

Life is just so much better when a person has a lover with whom to share it, especially when that lover is also a best friend, a true supporter and an encouragement.

Waking up next to that person starts the day out right. Today being Sunday, we slept in and then enjoyed a nice breakfast together. After that, we each went our own way to get some things done on our individual businesses.

I wanted to make him a good Sunday dinner so I made a big pot of sauce and brought it over to his house to make spaghetti.  When I got there, I found out he wanted to surprise me! He knew I was making spaghetti but he knows I love lamb and don’t know how to cook it myself.

When I walked into his house, he had lamb marinating and waiting to go on his George Foreman grill. Together we created a great Sunday dinner and watched the football playoffs.

Life is good by itself but sharing it with someone you love is priceless!

A Nice Evening Adventure

Today was another productive day for me. I was able to complete more work on the presentation about boys and girls learning differently due to both biological and cultural factors. The information has great implications for educational programs throughout the country and the world. I will be delivering the presentation to preschool teachers on February 17th and am looking forward to it.

Later, I had a date with my guy. I don’t always write about the things we do but today I wanted to because we were able to have a date that cost only the gas money it took to drive from the south suburbs into the city. People think Saturday night datesvhave to be extravagant to be appreciated but that simply isn’t true.

Marcus picked me up and we drove into the city. He knew an area on Michigan Ave. where he could park without a fee. This is quite a feat in Chicago.

We bundled up because it was cold and walked around Michigan Ave, which was still lit up for the Christmas shopping season. It really was beautiful. We went into Water Tower Place to do some window shopping. I had a great time trying on fur coats that I’ll never actually buy. We looked at jewelry in a new jewelry store. We walked around. We sat and watched people. We talked.

It cost us nothing but created a great adventure for us to spend time together in an enjoyable environment. When was the last time you had a no-cost date? What did you do?

Reconnecting with Friends

Today was a day of high productivity. I worked on a presentation I’m doing on how boys and girls learn differently.

For health, I had a chiropractor appointment with an adjustment and acupuncture. It all felt for good and my blood pressure is still in the normal range. Hooray.

Then I had some errands to run. Got home and had a coaches meeting for the Mission Publishing program. I got a lot of positive feedback about my coaching. I appreciated that a lot.

Then I had a dinner meeting with a Reality Therapy friend, Pat Robey. It was great to see her and we got caught up on things that have been happening in each other’s lives. We haven’t seen each other since August and even then, hardly got to spend any time together.

Then I connected by phone with another Reality Therapy friend who has been having a difficult time following a break up in her romantic relationship. She has been working to be all right and has really turned a corner in her healing process.

I am grateful for such good friends in my life and especially grateful for our shared understanding of Choice Theory that keeps us looking at the world in a similar way.

Do You Have a Book in You?

Several years ago, when I was writing my first book, I joined John Eggan’s Mission Marketing Mentor’s program to learn about self-publishing.

There are many pros and cons to self-publishing versus having a publishing contract. As a first-time author, it is difficult to get a publishing contract, and if you do, you often lose creative control over your book and you will see very little profit from book sales. The benefit in winning a publishing contract is that the publisher will handle all your up front costs and possibly provide you with some publicity.

Since I was using my book mainly for lead generation for my workshops, I chose to self-publish. I paid $4000 for the Mission Marketing Mentor’s program to learn the ins and outs of self-publishing. Then I became one of Mr. Eggan’s coaches to help other authors write and publish their books. I know the field of self-publishing.

I created my own publishing company, Inside Out Press, to publish my subsequent books and to publish other books that fit the self-development genre from the inside out approach.

If you want to write a book or have already written one and you have decided to self-publish, using a publishing company’s name on your cover will increase your credibility.

If you are interested in having Inside Out Press publish your book, let me know here or contact me at 708-957-6047 for a free 20-minute consult to learn what is involved.

Unbelievable Talent

I know I wrote earlier this week about the talent of Marcus Gentry and I’m writing about it again today. I love this man. I am grateful for his presence in my life and whenever possible, I support his efforts because he is constantly in service to others.

Today he did two performances at the Skokie Theatre. The first one was a his “Meet Dr. King” performance for a group of 40 middle school students and 20 parents and teachers. I am always amazed when he can hold the attention of students for an hour.

Then he performed his “Nat King Cole & Friends” musical tribute. Since it was a Wednesday afternoon performance, there weren’t a lot of people in the audience but Marcus Gentry performed as if there were a full house.

Patrons who saw the show spoke later about how much they were touched by the music and Mr. Gentry’s particular presentation about the stories of the individual artists he represents.

It is such an honor to watch this man’s talent. If you ever have an opportunity to watch or hear Marcus Gentry, you shouldn’t miss it. Your life will be forever changed.

Coaching for Success

Today I worked with my most motivated client. She really is amazing and demonstrates how helpful and useful coaching can be.

Whenever we talk, she is extremely insightful, put into practice any suggestions and reports back positive results. This is why I love coaching. Coaching clients are healthy and motivated.

This week the issue was sabotaging thoughts that get in the way of a positive, loving relationship. She is in a great relationship with a wonderful man. Whenever things are going well, she tends to have thoughts that sabotage her relationship.

For example, if he wants to stay in at his house one night, she catastrophizes the situation, telling herself he doesn’t like her anymore and doesn’t want to be with her.

This week, she was able to recognize these thoughts as self-sabotage. Then she was able to question their veracity. She realized the answer to her queries was these thoughts were not true.

She was then able to counter them with positive affirmations about her value and worth and how she deserves a positive, loving relationship. She was also able to affirm her boyfriend’s positive feelings for her.

When you are engaging in self-sabotage, are you able to recognize for what it is and question its veracity? If yes, please share. If not, begin to pay attention to whenever things are going particularly well in your life and the thoughts that come up for you during those times. They will usually center on how you don’t deserve the good things that are happening.

Be prepared to counter these thoughts with thoughts that serve you and support your forward movement.