Health is so Important

Have you missed me? I’ve definitely missed you. I promised myself to blog every day this year and I’ve missed eight consecutive posts. How could I do that? Well, I made a very deliberate decision to prioritize my health.

I’m not exactly sure what is wrong, whether I have a winter cold or the flu but something has been working to take me down for about the past two weeks. So far, I’ve managed to stay one step ahead of it but not without consequences.

In an effort to stay as healthy as possible, I stopped all non-essential activity and blogging fell into that category. The good news is that I can catch up. I took notes about what I wanted to say each day and will write two posts daily until I’m all caught up.

What I’ve recognized over these past two weeks is just how important one’s health can be. Of course, I’ve always said it but I really experienced it. When your health is compromised, it makes is more challenging to do everything else. However, you can still give service and be grateful. Those are choices always available even when you’re not well.

When was the last time you prioritized your health and what did you give up in favor of getting healthier?

Children are Awesome

Today I am so grateful for my two sons. Besides being wonderful human beings, I really enjoy spending time with them! I’m home for the weekend and spent the whole day with them yesterday and mostly laughed all day.

Kyle came over to the house where I am staying in the morning and we did nothing but laugh out loud. He is so funny! Then, Kyle; Dave; and Kyle’s girlfriend, Shannon; and I went to Scranton. The idea was to find a birthday present for Kyle who is turning 24 on the 24th.  Dave bought him a gun and I never did find anything for him.

We went to lunch at the Olive Garden, one of Kyle’s favorite places. The food was great and the two of them had great fun harassing the waitress. When our meal was over, the waitress thanked them for being so much fun. She said they really made her day and I believe it.

Wherever those two go, it’s comedy central time. Sometimes they get going and I laugh so hard I have tears running down my face!

I love spending time with my kids. I am so proud of the adults they have become. I am grateful to them that they can make me laugh and they maintain their sense of humor through all they have been through.

When was the last time you laughed until you cried?

Coaching and Health

Today, I provided service in terms of helping employees of Cove Forge better understand the concepts of applying Choice Theory/Lead Management to groups and the D&A communities they serve and are responsible for.

There is a common misperception that Choice Theory means there are no rules! This simply is not true. Rules are necessary for the cooperation of the population to co-exist and work their treatment programs.

There will be rules about safety, treatment and respect. You don’t tell people they can’t do anything because the reality is people can do whatever they choose to do but there will be consequences–some positive, some negative and some neutral. Occasionally a program needs to have some non-negotiable rules. These rules mean, you can do what you want to do; you just can’t do it here. If you continue, you will have to leave and experience whatever consequences that brings.

After that I coached two groups of authors on writing their books. I like this process because I have been where they are and have something to offer in terms of support, encouragement and challenge. I know many of these people I am working with will eventually become well-known published authors in their fields. It’s exciting to be a part of that process.

Later, I was reminded how fortunate I am to have my health. I am beginning to get a little cold. It’s really nothing serious but it is taking some of my energy. Having this slight affliction helps me to remember how important it is and how fortunate I am to be in good health 99% of the time.

No matter what your affliction, can you see anyone in your immediate vicinity who is worse off than you? If so, can you reach out to that person and offer help if needed? Tell me your story.

 

Friends in Need

Today was another day of service and I loved it. We practiced Reality Therapy in the Basic Week and I answered a lot of questions. We began the discussion about lead management, which is good because it seems in implementing lead management, the program may have gone a little too far to the laissez faire side out things. That will have to be addressed. Tomorrow, we will be digging deeper into lead management and practicing reality therapy with more difficult clients.

Another service I was able to perform today was helping a wonderful friend. She is suffering and in pain because the relationship she had hoped would be her forever relationship ended by his choice and she is confused, hurt and grieving the loss.

Sometimes in her grief, she will consider going places and doing things that are destructive for her and this man she continues to love. However, she has self-appointed me her “relationship consultant” so before she does anything drastic, she will run it by me first. I’m not sure how I feel about that and I never (at least I hope never) give her advice. I basically remind her of what she already knows. I hope it helps. She says it does and I am so pleased to be able to provide her any relief.

This woman is so wonderful and has helped many people. It is difficult to watch her in such pain but I also have faith that this pain exists for a reason and she will come out stronger for it on the other side.

When was the last time you helped a friend in need, either by providing an act of service, lending your emotional support through conversation or simply listening?

 

 

Service

Today was a total day of service and I loved it. I taught my second day of Reality Therapy. Today participants got the rest of Choice Theory and learned the structure of Reality Therapy. They are a very active group in terms of asking challenging questions. They are working in facilities that are using Choice Theory and from where they sit, the quality of their program has gone down since implementing Choice Theory. In really hearing what they are saying, I believe what has more accurately happened is that the staff who are attempting to lead manage, may have gone too far to the lassez faire style of leadership, which doesn’t work very well. They are asking some questions and making me work which I love.

I then did a coaching call with one of my clients. It was a very satisfying call because she has managed to keep her commitments and is currently working on her relationship with her mother.

Then, I ended wth a coaching call from the principal of an International School in The Ukraine, who is attempting to use Choice Theory, not only with kids in school, but also with the teachers.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my work? What do you love about the things you choose to do in your life?

Choice Theory

Today was the kind of day that feeds my soul. It was the beginning of a week of Reality Therapy training with people working in the field of drug and alcohol treatment. I absolutely LOVE teaching this stuff!

At the end of the day, one comment I got said the person was rethinking their position on trust in relationships from something a person has to earn to something that can be freely given.

Another comment was now he understands what he is doing wrong in his relationship and plans to make amends.

The information shared through teaching Choice Theory really does have the power to transform lives! I see it happen every time I facilitate a workshop. It is so exciting for me to see people making connections and creating positive change in their lives.

I am looking forward to our second day tomorrow. I already know it’s going to be great!

Quality Time

Today was all about quality time. Marcus has been out of town for a week touring with the Notations. He got back in town yesterday afternoon. I was working with the Army National Guard. Last night he was in performing in the closing night of Rent. Today at 2 PM, I had to leave for PA where I am teaching a week of Reality Therapy and will see our children.

That doesn’t leave a lot of relationship quality time but we were determined to make it work. The play was in Aurora, so when I finished my day’s work I drove to Aurora. Marcus went home, prepared what he needed for his performance and drove to the theatre. I secured a hotel room in Aurora so we wouldn’t need to travel back to the south suburbs after the show.

The play ended about 10:30 PM. After all the last night administrative tasks were complete, it was close to midnight. That didn’t leave us a lot of time. Neither of us had eaten so we went out to find a place that was open.  We were determined not to eat fast food and finally decided on an IHop.

We had a very enjoyable meal although we were both so tired, we didn’t talk a lot. We were just both happy to be by ourselves and eating. After that we went to the hotel where we were able to celebrate our time together and fall into a deep and restful sleep.

Today when we got up, we decided to spend some additional time by going to lunch. After eating, I had to run to the airport to catch my plane.

The point is, today was about love. We only had a little time to spend with each other and we cared enough to prioritize the time so we could have quality time together. Some may think it’s easier for us because we only had a little time.

When you live together day in and day out and you both have commitments and hectic schedules, it is challenging to carve out quality time for each other but it is essential for the success of your relationship to do just that! When was the last time you had quality time with your special someone? It won’t happen unless you make it happen.

Service for Service

Today was a very worthwhile day for me. I was doing my work with returning verterans and their families. This particular unit had been in Afghanistan for a year and has been home now for 60 days. This is usually when a lot of the adjustment issues settle in. The honeymoon phase is over and the soldiers and their families need to get back to some sort of routine that works for them.

I had the honor of conducting focus groups for couples. I love working with couples and these are particularly important because it’s not easy to reconnect after what both parties have been through. The soldier has been away serving our country in wartime, where nothing is important but the mission. The spouse has been home for an entire year trying to do everything two had done previously.

When the soldier comes home, the spouse is excited and thinking now he/she can unload all the added things they’ve been doing but the soldier isn’t always ready for that to happen. The adjustment phase is critical to the success of their relationship.

I love that I have the information about the deadly and caring habits. This is what I shared with the groups and you can just see the chords it strikes in people. The information is so valid, useful and helpful.

I was providing a service today for people who have provided the ultimate service for our country and I was so honored to do so. Hopefully, it will help them in reconnecting with their families.

Supportive Women

When I first moved to Chicago, one of the biggest things I missed was socialization. Those of you who know me, know I LOVE people–all kinds of people, especially those I meet in my Choice Theory/Reality Therapy circles.

When I moved to Chicago, I didn’t know many people and I was really focused on building my business. That meant I was working in my home office often from morning till night. When my one friend who lives here would ask me to go somewhere socially, I would turn him down because I didn’t want to take the time away from working.

But, I was unhappy. My life was out of balance. I began to seek some type of networking group that would meet my social needs but also help with my business. I found a small group of social workers and therapists who met once a quarter for supporting each other and occasionally putting on training for the community.

They were mostly older than, in the field a long time and definitely medical model, not Choice Theory, oriented.  Yet, I felt genuinely accepted there and so I would attend the meetings whenever I could.

Well, I think it’s been a year since I was there last. I’ve missed their last four meetings. I showed up today with a new member and was greeted with literal open arms by the members. I got hugs, kisses and genuine inquiries into how I was doing. It felt so good and I want to have gratitude for this group of special, supportive women.

Where do you get your unconditional support? Where is your safe haven?

Veteran’s Day

I know lots of people have spoken today about our veterans and they really are a special group of people. They are men and women called upon to do extraordinary things every day. Many love living on the edge. There is an excitement that can’t be beat, yet they have to be separated from friends and loved ones for long periods of time.

Sometimes what they are doing is incredibly dangerous, other times extraordinarily boring but it’s all necessary and plays a role in supporting our country in its mission.

Whether or not you agree with the politics of this or any war, please remember our brave men and women who have given so much so we can have and voice our opinions about anything we like.

I am filled with gratitude for them on this day and every day. If you have a vet in your life, tell me something about him or her.